Party

So after last night's bit of food the scales claimed I had gone up to 129 lb. I freaked, I couldn't believe it would happen so quick. I look at the scales today, 126. Nice change but still odd.

Today I was able to go completely without food, all
I had was coffee and cigs. Then I found out that instead of being stuck at home with the pressure of having to eat, there's a party going on instead. So I get out of eating and will prolly do some drinking (only because it makes me lose more weight, if it didn't I wouldn't bother). So party tonight and then tomorrow noone's gonna be home ALL DAY. So from the time I get up until I fade into bed (3-4am) I won't have to eat a bite!

I'm so excited, I may be able to get closer to my 120 goal.

Party

So I wound up at a friend's birthday party last night. Through the course of it I was forced to eat a burger (which I later got even angrier at since they apparently had veggie burgers but didn't say anything). I was in a terrible mood the rest of the night. I drank some beer and after getting home took a walk. The whole night smoking like I was winning a prize. This morning I wake to find my weight at 127.

The science behind this baffles me...

drunk

Well I guess I lose a follower or two there, which kinda sucks because it means less people care about my life, ah well. It appears that it now only takes roughly four beers to get me drunk which I found out tonight, I feel horrid about the food tonight, 3 slices of pizza from Pizza Hut, 2 PB&J sammiches and a half a bowl of soup. Just horrid. I hate myself so much. But with the alchohol in me perhaps tonight I'll vomit, not by choice just through chemical. Got two friends over while I pass out in the basement, watched some Zombie flicks tonight with them. They often mention how thin I am but I still don't see it. Maybe I never will.

It sucks having this condition, always running through my head. Everytime I look at food I just think of the calories and how fat it'll make me. I'm still a size 0 which I guess is kinda good but I should be size 00, I gotta get smaller still. One day I'll get there... but who knows when... seems like forever away...