Friday, April 17, 2009

Gonzo Journalism 3

So I look around at what I see on TV, hear on the radio, read on magazine covers. Lose weight, keep it off. Stay skinny. Get thin. Ways to help beat hunger.

And here we are, Eating Disorders all around, obsessing over food, losing weight, getting thin, staying thin, beating hunger. How is it that our obsession is so wrong and different from theirs? How is it fair that we get called abnormal for losing weight and getting thin, and yet if they lose weight and get thin people applaud their accomplishments.

Magazines trading off on all the tips... tips we ourselves see and use everyday. Do we even take it any further than they do? Do we obsess more?


And then I see more. More and more people are being diagnoses with Eating Disorders. Most people at one point in time have had an ED. Whether or not they 'got over it' is another matter. Maybe.

So basically here we are in a society that applauds weightloss and thinness, promoting ways to beat hunger and keep the weight off. So why are we the ones who get looked upon with pity and sorrow. Displeasure. We're wrong, they're right...

Is that how it really is? Or are we all disordered, them and us. We just accept it, don't we? Maybe the problem is that we promote our ideas and tips as 'Pro-Ana', they use a nicer word I guess. A world that breeds these kind of views... and yet WE are the ones who are wrong.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Today turned out better than i thought it would. I had 3 hotdogs witg diet sobe green tea. Other than that just cigs and coffee. Managed to lose 3lb. Tho by the end of the night i had an upset stomache from all the coffee, ah well the pain for perfection. Tomorrow will be a fasting day, unless a friend or roomate gets in the way

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


My weight ahs been going horridly wrong of late. So I strove out for a fast today, but it wound up being more of a restriction instead. Not enough but better than nothing.

On the plus side my friend and I spent a good long time on Wii Fit and by the end of one day's worth I had lost 1.38 Lb. So I feel that with more exercising than I was doing before (which was none, pure loss through starving and restricting) and more dieting I'll start making some real weight loss happen.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Gonzo Journalism 2

Advertisements on TV, one in particular catches my eye. A new yogurt, now with like 60 calories instead of 100. All eaten by relatively thin women talking about how they need to lose weight. And here we are, us stricken with Anorexia, Bulimia, or EDNOS told about how we are fine and shouldn't lose more weight. No gain weight, it'll make you happier. And watch TV where they will tell you nothing but how you should lose weight.

It used to be an easier double standard to understand. Men got dealt one hand, women got dealt the same but with added bonuses and a damn near immunity to anything dealing with men. A double standard that could be understood. Now this standard has advanced to a much more ambiguous arena. Lose weight. Don't lose weight. Losing weight will make you pretty and happy. Gain weight it'll make you pretty and happy.

It's hard for anyone to look around at all this and not feel that they're body isn't flawed, imperfect. You need improvement. What kind of improvement though? Thin people should be on diets and lose weight, but also they can't be too thin or else they need to diet and gain weight. Diet diet diet.

We're losing track of the baser things, the real things. Happiness. Contentment. Accepting who and what you are. But then again. I see all this around me all the while feeling nothing more than I need to lose weight. I need to hit 110. I see ads about people using new weight lose supplements and it says the loss shown is 6.5 Lb over 8 weeks. And then that voice screams out in my head. I can lose 6.5 in 3 days. So am I better off or worse off?