Thursday, October 4, 2012

Not dead!

Hello all you lovlies, it's been a while hasn't it? Well you see I got a weird kind of sick soon after my last post. Felt like I had a frog in my throat non-stop and my throat was sore, white fuzz on tongue (gross). So my reaction was to stop all the diet pills, the chromium, even the vitamins.

Thought I had the big C, which depressed and pissed me off. Mainly because I figured if I had it then it would have to be from smoking... but I don't smoke that much, maybe a pack a day, and I haven't been smoking for very long, maybe 5 years. I know people smoking more and longer who have No problems.

Turns out I had bronchitis and thrush. So... Yeah. Very relieved to hear that. Took care of all that and then just felt crummy and blah for a while. I slipped on my diet, but managed to maintain my weight. Also found out through the course of getting sick and checking my temperature like 5 times a day that my normal temp is 97.5 yeah 1.1 lower than a regular human.

So today and last night I've just been miserably depressed, so I intensified it today by trying on old clothes. They were tight, I was almost in tears. Which of course brings us to the now.

Today I consumed 3 big cups of coffee with fake sweetener in it. Ate 10 baby carrots, and about half a bowl of salad with 45 Cal's of low fat balsamic vinegarette on it. So:

Coffee - 0 cal
10 baby carrots ~20 cal
Salad ~ 10 cal
Dressing - 45 cal
Total - 75 cal
Way to go me!

Now we keep this up forever. I need to stay under 500 Cal to be safe. Safety in certain numbers, safety in emptiness. Control my food, control my life.

Laters, K


Mind Of Mine said...

Wait, so you get sick and without consulting your doctor you just assumed you had the big C?

You're life must be difficult.

One of Ana's Boys said...

I figure everything else is going bad. also I did research into signs and symptoms. then I went to a doctor and found out I was worrying over nothing.

Din Mamma said...

I know what you mean about the big C. My dad three years ago and every time something in my body feels off, I'm assuming it's cancer.

Ana's Girl said...

I always assume the worst too. I'm glad it wasn't the worst for you though! Hang in there, dear. You seem to be doing wonderful with your eating now.