Stagnation

Recently has been a mix of good low cal days and days where I wind up eating more than I would want to. Each day ends in regret. My car a few days ago was broken, now I need to find a job and save up to fix it or replace the engine. I was planning on replacing the engine anyway, but not now, later on instead. My weight hasn't gone up at least, but it also hasn't gone down at all. Of course maybe I'm not worth it, I keep feeling that a low. Worthless. I can't even lose weight. A lot of days I struggle to find reasons to get out of bed. I hate feeling like this so much. I hate myself.