Sunday, August 30, 2009

Realizations...

I sit out here smoking my cig scared to shit at how far off my track I've gone. I'm hevier, uglier, I don't fit into my clothes like I should. I've avoided disclosing my weight out of shame but now I feel that's exactly the punishment I deserve for all this. Shame. I'm 140osh now. That's it I need all the help I can get I need to drop back down to my 120's as a start. I'm so ashamed of myself. Stop eating, lose weight fatty, Ana hates you for your disappointment to her. I hate myself even more now. I'm a failure but I won't stay one for long, no more excuses no more giving in to friends. Use my money for green tea, diet soda, and cigs. Get my body back. I hate myself so much. Maybe I'll take the step I avoided, maybe it's time to start purging...

4 comments:

skinny love said...

Pretend as though you're a Muslim fasting for Ramadan.
I'm finding fasting for religious purposes is my best bet at losing anything, and it's working, really.
I've been in the 140's for too fucking long.

NO PURGING! Don't resort to that!

Ana's Girl said...

No, no, no. Do NOT purge. It's so bad for your health. Just start over on restricting and fasting, and ignore everyone who tries to talk you out of it. You'll do great.

Yum said...

I'd avoid purging if you can. It doesn't actually help you lose calories, not to mention all the bad side effects. Plus I've heard it's really addicting.

Hey, you've done it before, you can do it again! Just stay strong.

theamazingmango said...

=( Don't purge. Like everyone else said, it's bad for you. Seriously. After last night, my ribs have been hurting all day today. Don't resort to that. Just starve.

Love you. <3

...Tutedo? Google, you have mental issues. >.<