But no change yet. My weight hasn't dropped any at all. And now I'm back to cutting. My life is a mess and I've got control over nothing but my eating. I don't even have full control over my cutting. Any mistakes I make need to be paid with a 4" paring knife.
I wound up dropping a ball of crazy on my boyfriend. Told him some but not all. I know I'm fucked up, I can't leave a car or place without holding my keys. All doors need to be closed 5 times. Lights on and off five times. Everything gets counted in or by 2, 3, 5, 13, or 23.
Everything in my life is a mess, but when I lose weight I get at least a little control back... is that so wrong?