Mistakes and improvements

Well after some mistakes I've been stuck at 148 :(. Working hard to break past this and today should help quite a bit.

Today I had my diet green tea pills, lots of water, and 2 diet amps. Also decided to try out these FullBars. And they seem to work out pretty well, each one is 170 cals (which is ok), so my total today was 240 cals. So all in all calorie wise I am right on track (nicely under the 500 maximum). I was able to avoid all temptations today which felt nice and empowering.

Still waiting on everything to get rolling as far as my new job, at this point I'm just waiting on getting a bit more money so that I can finish off the Z and then put aside enough money to pay my bills for a month. Once that is all set I will being going all out, hitting the ground running as it were.

Now hopefully I will be getting that money soon as my mom's basement recently had a flood and mold and I still had stuff down there from when I was still living there. So it SEEMS I should be getting enough money for everything that I need soon (as long as mom doesn't try to take a bit more which she might and is grrrrr).

Well that seems to be all for now.

Laters, K

FWA day 3

Last two days of Kekwick were successful. I'll have some left over macadamia nuts after today so I think I might continue it tomorrow as well, tho I think I may just go to restricting instead. Veggie burgers, celery, the restriction can definately happen.
So I can't remember what I was before I started this but I know I lost 3 lb between yesterday and today... so at least it's a start.

FWA day 2

OK so im on the second day of kekwick in prep for FWA. So far so good, no deviation nothing but kekwick and diet green tea or diet energy drinks. I'm hoping the diet drinks don't screw up my diet at all. W doesn't see how doing kekwick can drop weight at all saying that sitting around doing art and eating nuts doesn't make sense, which is true... it doesn't make sense that it works but I know that it does. Hopefully I can drop the weight I need to with this, then it'll be on to strict restriction.

We have veggie burgers, and one patty is like 100 cal so I'm thinking that after this diet I can either just restrict or do 2-4-6-8, that should help out... maybe start running as well. Anything to lose weight

FWA

Stress. That seems to be the key for me the most. I'm currently working on coloring a comic due out by March 10th. Add on to that I have no money but need to spend an additional 364 to finish up licensing for my new job. So I'm mega stressed out right now.

And that kicked my drive for weightloss into high gear. I need to get thin by March 17th, that's when we go to the convention to sell the comic. I'm on kekwick right now, just finished day 1. W is kinda supportive but he doesn't see my need for weightloss. Worse is that DW is sort of on to me.

When I first brought up about my previous weight loss she asked if I starved.. and I hesitated. Then when Z jokingly said about the pointer finger being Mr. Pukey she scolded him saying I already look anorexic. But I don't look anorexic I look fat. I wish I could see what other people see. Also a couple days ago Bu was mentioning a car, a Lotus, and said that Z could slide right in and I MIGHT be able to get in. I hated him so much for saying that.

No more food, no more lounging. I need the weight to go, I can't have this anymore. I hate it so much. But now I'm stressed and depressed. I didn't think I would be depressed with W around but I am. So here we go, lose it all by March 10.

Melatonin and green tea

So I've started taking some melatonin to try and sleep... seeing as its 12:27 and I'm wide awake I suppose it's not working too well. But I've also started getting some green tea pills to help burn off some of this terrible fat. Yet I remain at 130 lb... grrr.... Still trying to get a job, though things are looking good for a position selling cars.... yeah kinda like being a member of the darkside but also last time I sold cars I was able to make at least $1K a week at times, also I was at my previous thinnest and I'll do it again to get back to it. Anything.