Gonzo Journalism Holiday Edition

Happy Holidays, it's like a big gaudy neon sign waiting outside of a derelict section of a run-down town. That's how we see it, that's how I see it. Welcome to the holidays, a hellish time that begins with Thanksgiving and Ends just after the New Year. Filled with gluttony, temptation, self-hatred, fights at Wal-Mart for the newest big toy for the tots, and so much more. We see this come every year, the fear starting up sometime in October, mid-November if you're lucky or just forgetful.

A big dinner, family, meat, desserts, temptation, hatred, fear, and loathing. You make it through that and then what comes around the corner but a month full of cookies, and desserts in preparation for the next big step, Christmas and it's merry dinner. It surrounds you and engulfs you. There is no escape, that would be too easy; there is no safe ground, that would be to akin to a heaven. The holidays aren't heaven, they're Hell.

Apparently Hell isn't all fire and brimstone. Instead it comes at you socially and mentally, everyone stuffing themselves with the bounties and gorging away at whatever food they can get to their hands. It's cold, it's full of bright lights and gifts. But make thee no mistake, it's Hell just the same. It just comes in pretty wrapping paper.

You fight through it all, hoping to come out okay. Each day goes by, or is it a month.. maybe a year I can never tell since it feels all the same. Meals, visits, desserts, gifts... tears, cries, sobs, slice after slice for the mistakes and falls. We get to scramble through these Holiday Hells, hurt on the inside... smiling on the out. Each time 'I made it, somehow... some way... I dunno how I'm gonna do it again. But good news.

Next year it'll be here again, with the lights and noise, visits and meals, tears and sobs... happy holidays...

holidays

Well I'm psyched about the holidays... not the gifts and get-togethers but rather the fact that they are over. I am a christmas person, I get into the spirit and everything, I just despise the eating that comes with it. I feel like I weigh 200+ pounds after every meal... thank god that's not true. But still I haven't weighed myself (too terrified despite the feeling that I NEED to weigh myself) but I'm positive that I won't be enjoying the results at all.

With the holidays in mind... I stopped at a pharmacy on the way home to pick up some laxies... I just gotta empty myself out a bit... I woulda bought Ipecac if they had it... even though I'm aware that purging is a downward slope.